Jeer Joker: Английский юмор и ему сопутствующее

Charles Spencer Chaplin

I have many problems in my life, but my lips don't know that, they always smile.

Oscar Wilde

It is clear that humour is far superior to humor.

Queen Victoria

In the early years of their marriage, Victoria and Albert visited Florence several times, greatly impressed by the city's architectural treasures. Of these, the Brunelleschi dome surmounting the cathedral was their personal favorite.

Victoria returned to Florence some years after Albert's death to find that the dome had been magnificently restored. She ordered the carriage to stop in the piazza outside the cathedral and rolled down the window.

Opening up the locket that hung around her neck, she turned the miniature of her beloved husband to face the building, so that he could share with her the splendor of the newly restored dome. Then, after a few moments' silent contemplation, she closed the locket and drove away.

George Washington

Early in the Revolutionary War, Washington sent one of his officers to requisition horses from the local landowners.

Calling at an old country mansion the officer was received by the elderly mistress of the house.

"Madam, I have come to claim your horses in the name of the government," he began.

"On whose orders?" demanded the woman sternly.

"On the orders of General George Washington, commander in chief of the American Army," replied the officer.

The old lady smiled. "You go back and tell General George Washington that his mother says he cannot have her horses," she said.

Daniel Webster

Webster's father left him and his brother Ezekiel alone one day and gave them specific instructions as to the work they were to accomplish.

On his return, he found the task still undone, and severely questioned his sons about their idleness.

"What have you been doing, Ezekiel?" he asked.

"Nothing, sir."

"Well, Daniel, what have you been doing?"

"Helping Zeke, sir."

Herbert George Wells

On leaving a Cambridge party, Wells accidentally picked up a hat that did not belong to him.

Discovering his mistake, he decided not to return the headgear to its rightful owner, whose label was inside the brim.

The hat fit Wells comfortably; furthermore, he had grown to like it. So he wrote to the former owner: "I stole your hat; I like your hat; I shall keep your hat. Whenever I look inside it I shall think of you and your excellent sherry and of the town of Cambridge. I take off your hat to you."

Tennessee Williams

Newspaper reports in 1961 announced that Williams had decided not to attend any further sessions with his psychoanalyst. Asked the reason for this decision, the playwright replied, "He was meddling too much in my private life."

William Wordsworth

Wordsworth boasted in Charles Lamb's hearing, "I could write Shakespeare if I had a mind to."

"So it's only the mind that's lacking," murmured Lamb.

George Cadbury

When King George V and Queen Mary visited the Cadbury works, George Cadbury led the way with the queen while his wife walked behind with the king.
Cadbury had removed his hat as a mark of respect for royalty. It was, however, very cold, and Queen Mary was concerned lest the old man should get a chill.

"Mr. Cadbury, please put on your hat," she said.

George Cadbury demurred.

"Please, Mr. Cadbury, or I'll ask the king to command you to do so!"

Her host still hesitated. Then from behind them came the ringing tones of Elizabeth Cadbury: "George, put your hat on."
He did.

Thomas Stearns Eliot

Publisher Robert Giroux once asked Eliot whether he agreed with the widely held belief that most editors are failed writers.

Eliot pondered for a moment, then said, "Yes, I suppose some editors are failed writers, but so are the most writers."

pics gags