Jeer Joker: Английский юмор и ему сопутствующее

Global Village



If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely one hundred people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look like the following.

There would be:
- 57 Asians;
- 21 Europeans;
- 14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south;
- 8 Africans;
- 52 would be female;
- 48 would be male;
- 70 would be non-white;
- 30 would be white;
- 70 would be non-Christian;
- 30 would be Christian;
- 89 would be heterosexual;
- 11 would be homosexual;
- 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the USA;
- 80 would live in substandard housing;
- 70 would be unable to read;
- 50 would suffer from malnutrition;
- 1 would be near death, 1 would be near birth;
- 1 (yes, only one!) would have a college education;
- 1 would own a computer.

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

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George Bush Jr. Fake Diary



Saturday, 19 July 08
Dear diary, I really hate this job... I'm thinking of quitting to so I can play pro baseball like I always dreamed of. I'm so tired of everyone hating me just cuz of this war thing! Today at lunch, Dick Cheney pushed me down and stole my sandwich again... he's such a friggin jerk! I called dad to tell on him but dad was out golfing and mom just tells me to stop being a sissy la la so I have no one to tell but you diary...

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Tips For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously



Если вы слишком серьезно относитесь к жизни, если вы преисполнены ответственности, если вы не даете себе отдыха, если вы мега-занудны, прочитайте эти советы. Они именно для вас!

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viewed: 1234

Double Pitfalls - неопасные двусмысленности



The man who created "knock knock" jokes deserves a "no-bell" prize.

I'm on a seafood diet, when I see food I try it.

Two bloggers went outside. That's it. That's the joke, it's an inside joke.

Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Some clock makers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.

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viewed: 1259

Забавные недоразумения в суде



Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.



Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15-th.
Q: What year?
A: Each year.



Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

category: jeer-joker
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Эффективный и понятный деловой английский



Господи, это опять вы!
Thank you very much for your e-mail!

Если до завтра не предоставите документы, пеняйте на себя.
We will do our best to proceed with your request! However the documents should reach us tomorrow.

Вы читать умеете?
You can find this information below.

category: jeer-joker
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